So (former? current? I don’t know) NFL wide receiver, Titus Young, posted bond today and has been released from jail. He’s facing multiple misdemeanors and felonies for a May 11 break-in incident that escalated into an altercation with the police. I’m going to go on record here and say that Titus Young is my favorite player in the NFL. Dude demonstrates unbelievable commitment and creativity in his ability to get benched and arrested. I’ll back that up with a quick Titus Young timeline- and keep in mind this guy is still only 23 years old
- Fall, 2009- Suspended for most of his sophomore year at Boise State for fighting with teammate
- May, 2012- Sent home from Lions training camp for sucker punching teammate, Louis Delmas
- November, 2012- Suspended from Lions for intentionally lining up wrong in a regular season game (in an effort to sabotage his own team)
- February, 2013- Released from Lions and claimed off waivers by the Rams. Only to be released by the Rams 10 days later
- May 5, 2013 (Here’s the best part)- Arrested twice in the same day for two separate incidents. First arrest was just your standard DUI. Second was for trespassing in a tow yard in an attempt to steal (reclaim?) his impounded car.
- May 11, 2013- Completes the hat-trick and gets arrested for the 3rd time in a week for a break-in attempt.
So now everyone can breathe easy, America’s sweetheart, Titus Young, is back as a free man. A lot of people (including crazy man Brandon Marshall) are pleading to Titus to clean up his act. I, on the other hand, say he should go the other direction with it. Why keep messing around as a slightly crazy man doing slightly serious crimes, when you can go full-retard, get even more famous, and earn even more of the Slenderman’s respect. The next step is obviously to go for a Meta World Peace-esque name change. I’m thinking something like: “Eradicate Violence”. Anyway, keep it up Titus! We’re all cheering for you here at the Philo.
p.s- My favorite Titus tweet: