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7th Grader Receives Verbal Offer From Kentucky

                First off, I’d like to apologize for my short hiatus. The Slenderman has officially relocated to DC, but don’t worry I’m still Boston Strong. I mean seriously, Ovie, Bryce, RG3, John Wall… this is the city of overrated athletes. But anyway, I’m back on the grid, and you can expect a constant stream of Major League-caliber blogging.  Now I’d like to discuss the recent trend of D1 schools offering scholarships to middle school children.  On Thursday, the University of Kentucky football program acknowledged making a verbal offer to 7th grade cornerback, Jairus Brents, who won’t graduate from high school until 2018.  This news comes just a few days after reports surfaced that UCLA had made an offer to an 8th grade quarterback.
                  Here’s my take on the issue, this kind of thing pisses me the fuck off.  Who benefits from this shit?? Seriously, from the kid’s perspective, he’s obviously being robbed of his youth.  Clearly he’s got one of those fathers who never made it and is unemployed, so he spend every waking second feeding his kid steroids, brainwashing him, and beating him into submission. I’m sure if this kid hadn’t been molded into a robot, he’d much rather be out breaking mailboxes, blowing off his fingers with Roman Candles, and searching for the ever elusive over-the-pants-handjob.
                  From the perspective of Kentucky Football, this also makes no sense.  It’s basically a lose-lose scenario.  So much can happen between the ages of 13 and 18, that this will likely be a wasted effort.  If this kid fills out and ends up like 6’2, 240, good luck playing him at corner (he could shift to linebacker, but that would involve a complete reworking of his skill set).  Even worse, what if after Jairus’s first blunt, he decides to pic up the mic, get inked the fuck up, and become the next Wiz Khalifa.  Or, even more likely, he continues to improve and by 2018 he’s the top prospect in his class.  Do you think he’s going to choose Kentucky because they made the 1st offer?? Fuck no, because Kentucky sucks.  This kid has Alabama and Nick Saban written all over him.
                   Basically I hate the culture of the NCAA.  Not only does it treat its athletes like slaves, but now it’s robbing them of their childhood and preventing them from spending time on what they should be doing: spitting game on Facebook messenger in an effort to get one of those OTPHJ’s.
More information can be found here.

-Slenderman

  • P.S: the ESPN article about Jairus claims he’s a well-rounded kid because he has a 3.7 gpa.  Who the fuck calculates a middle school gpa? Do you add up your gold stars and “student of the month” awards and divide that by your number of lunch detentions, or some shit?? SMH
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